Untitled

"Razorblade"

Fri, 02 Mar 2012 14:43:23 -0500

In the day by day collision
Called the art of growing up
There’s an innocence we look for in the stars
To be taken back to younger days
When there was no giving up
On the people we held closest to our hearts

Yeah it is you that I remember in that glowing
It is you that took my first away from me
It is you I set my standards to… to every walk of life
I haven’t met another you since you were with me.

[Chorus]
A brief bout with a razorblade cut me
I freaked out, thinking people didn’t love me
I watched closely as the you I knew forgot me
In letting go, I am so proud of what I’ve done

In a way, I failed religion
I spit the wine from mouth to cup
And I reached for something more than just your God
Uncle, you spared not your children
And while your praying hands are up
There’s no forgiveness for you! You sick fuck!

It is you that I remember in their bedroom
It is you that took their first away from them
It is you they set their standards to
You wounded them for life
You were a preacher and suppose to be above men

-Blue october

"Concrete Angel"

Fri, 02 Mar 2012 14:42:03 -0500

She walks to school with the lunch she packed
Nobody knows what she’s holding back
Wearing the same dress she wore yesterday
She hides the bruises with the linen and lace, oh

The teacher wonders but she doesn’t ask
It’s hard to see the pain behind the mask
Bearing the burden of a secret storm
Sometimes she wishes she was never born

Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can’t rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place
Where she’s loved concrete angel

Somebody cries in the middle of the night
The neighbors hear but they turn out the light
A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate
When morning comes it will be too late

Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can’t rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place
Where she’s loved concrete angel

A statue stands in a shaded place
An angel girl with an upturned face
A name is written on a polished rock
A broken heart that the world forgot

Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can’t rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place
Where she’s loved concrete angel

-martina mcbride

"kristy are you doing okay?"

Fri, 02 Mar 2012 14:41:04 -0500

There’s a moment in time
And it’s stuck in my mind
Way back, when we were just kids

Cause your eyes told the tale
Of an act of betrayal
I knew that somebody did

Oh, waves of time
Seem to wash away
The scenes of our crimes
But for you this never ends
Can you stay strong?
Can you go on?
Kristy are you doing okay?
A rose that won’t bloom
Winter’s kept you
Don’t waste your whole life trying
To get back what was taken away

Though the marks on your dress
Had been neatly repressed
I knew that something was wrong
And I should have spoke out
And I’m so sorry now
I didn’t know
Cause we were so young

Oh, clouds of time
Seem to rain on
Innocence left behind
And it never goes away

-The offspring

"hurt"

Fri, 02 Mar 2012 14:39:10 -0500

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that’s real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar’s chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

-johnny cash

week 1 song

Fri, 02 Mar 2012 14:37:49 -0500

Just four years of age,

she scrubs off her skin,

what she thinks is dirt,

is just who she is.

She doesn’t see the beauty,

the innocent truth,

ignorance has replaced reality,

by a booze sucking dad.

He hits and yells,

and messses up her mind,

she’ll never get to be,

the child she can be.

She can only trust one,

and he shows her hot to live,

she can only trust one,

and he sets her free.

-Sydne Doire

week 2 song

Fri, 02 Mar 2012 14:35:17 -0500

I’ve been hurt a lot,

sometimes the pain is still so hot,

I bet you think that I forgot,

well father take a secong though.

You ditchhed me for a stupid drug,

then you became a hardcore thug,

a stupid little pathetic bug,

it’s time I pull this lifelong plug.

It’s not that I hate you,

but I wish that you could get a clue,

another dad came to the rescue,

and though I prayed you withdrew.

Today it’s time I speak the truth,

I’ve reached the end of my innocent youth,

you’ve been removed like an infected tooth,

you left us all thans for being uncouth.

Even with all your pain-causing flaws,

I must take this time to pause,

wrap up these wound with some gauze,

and remove your sharp cutting claws.

So hear me loud father for I forgive,

my mind has been so combative,

but finally my heart is acceptive,

I am free from the pain that’s been so abrasive.

-Sydne Doire

Week 4 Song

Fri, 02 Mar 2012 14:26:07 -0500

He meets her, her beats her,

in the bedroom at night,and I can hear them fight,

pray it’s just a dream,

it’s just a dream…

When she loses he gives her bruises,

I can hear her sad sobs,

and inside my heart begins to throb,

pray it’s just a dream,

it’s just a dream.

He punches, she hunches,

just a puddle of blood,

she hits the ground with a thud,

pray it’s just a dream,

it’s just a dream.

I fight, praying for night,

so mommy and I can run,

but daddy’s just begun,

now I know it’s not a dream,

daddy hits me and I scream,

now I too have a bloodstream,

please make this be a daydream.

I awake in a broken pile,

my mouth it burns of stomach bile,

momma look so fragile,

and daddy’s got a beer.

I know this dream has just started,

but these waters we tread are not uncharted,

this story is not for those fainthearted,

and prayers will never work.

Because again…

he meets her, he beats her,

in the bedroom at night,

and again I hear them fight,

pray it’s just a dream,

please just be a dream.

-Sydne Doire

week 3 song

Fri, 02 Mar 2012 14:26:00 -0500

So full of pain,

she fights for an ease,

the agony that kills her,

she begs the God’s “PLEASE!”

The hits are so hard,

the words so crude,

her father does nothing,

but sit there and brood.

She doesn’t understand,

what she did so wrong,

it was just the color of her skin,

as described by this song.

She bites her tongue,

and deals with the punches,

her bruises soon form,

and her muscle painfully bunches.

Will the pain ever stop?

she wonders in tears,

but the abuse soon returns,

along with all her fears…

-Sydne Doire

You're Forgiven

Fri, 27 Jan 2012 15:22:02 -0500

I’ve been hurt a lot,

sometimes the pain is still hot,

I bet you think that I forgot,

Well father take a second thought.

You ditched me for a stupid srug,

then you became a hardcore thug,

a stupid little pathetic bug,

it’s time I pull this lifelong plug.

It’s not that I hate you,

but I wish that you could get a clue,

another dad came to the rescue,

and though I prayed you withdrew.

Today it’s time to speak the truth,

I’ve reached the end of my innocent youth,

you’ve been removed like an infected tooth,

you left us all thanks for being uncouth.

Even with all your pain-causing flaws,

I must take this time to take a pause,

wrap up thses wounds you left with some gauze,

and remove your sharp cutting claws.

So hear me loud father for I forgive,

my mind has been so combative,

but finally my heart is acceptive,

I am free from the pain that’s been so abrasive.

-sydne doire

"“What I’ve Done” In this farewell There’s no blood There’s no..."

Tue, 24 Jan 2012 15:10:19 -0500

“

“What I’ve Done”

In this farewell
There’s no blood
There’s no alibi
Cause I’ve drawn regret
From the truth
Of a thousand lies

So let mercy come
And wash away

What I’ve done
I’ll face myself
To cross out what I’ve become
Erase myself
And let go of what I’ve done

Put to rest
What you thought of me
While I clean this slate
With the hands
Of uncertainty

So let mercy come
And wash away

What I’ve done
I’ll face myself

To cross out what I’ve become
Erase myself
And let go of what I’ve done

For what I’ve done
I start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I’m forgiving what I’ve done

I’ll face myself
To cross out what I’ve become
Erase myself
And let go of what I’ve done

(Na-na na na)
(Na-na na na)
(Na-na na na)
What I’ve done
(Na-na na na)

(Na-na na na)
(Na-na na na)
(Na-na na na)
Forgiving what I’ve done
(Na-na na na)

(Na-na na na)
(Na-na na na)
(Na-na na na)
(Na-na na)

”

- Linkin Park

Music Bio

Fri, 13 Jan 2012 15:18:12 -0500

My earliest memory of music probably has to be sitting in the middle of my room when i was about 6 and listening to Garth Brooks. I remember I was crazy about country music when I was little. I even spoke in a country accent even though I’ve lived in Arizona my entire life. Life has kinda furthered my pallett for music since that time.

My favorite band now is Blue October. I know every word to every song they have sung.I’ve tried going to three different concerts when they come in town but things have always prevented me from going and every time I’ve ended up sittin gin my room in tears like a big old baby. Their lyrics just kind of speak to me though. The words connected to the beats seem to match with my heart. It’s almost scary.

My favorite song by them has to be “18th floor balcony” though. The delicate rythems mixed with the love entwined in his words makes me think of my fiance and things I’ve done. Like sitting somewhere where youre all alone and the wind kinda kisses your cheeks and numbs your cheeks but you don’t even care because youre so lost in thought or forelorness that you don’t even notice.

Their songs express the feelings I can’t sometimes. The pain, the love, the worry, the anger. All of it. It’s like they read my mind and say it better than I could ever even begin to try. It’s like love, but with a band.

Epigraph

Mon, 09 Jan 2012 15:32:23 -0500

Cody Barrett, my fiance, everytime i so much as hink of him my eyes fill with tears and a smile plays on my lips. He makes me so happy. I pray for the day that he realizes how much. I could neer describe how much I care for him or how much he means to me. He’s like part of me, the one part that makes me whole. We’ve been together for three years and I’m not saying we’re perfect, we’ve definately had our up’s and down’s, but we are still the one for each other. We still make each other smile and we still do the little goofy things that loving couple’s do. We give butterfly kisses and eskimo kisses and cuddle and tickle each other and joke around and call each other. it feels like my own personal heaven…

describes me

Thu, 05 Jan 2012 15:11:05 -0500

describes me

"EPIGRAPH “we loved with a love that was more than love”"

Thu, 05 Jan 2012 15:11:00 -0500

“

EPIGRAPH

“we loved with a love that was more than love”

”

- Edgar Allan Poe